….and 5 Months

(Mom’s Turn) This past Saturday marked the 5 month anniversary and I have to admit that time has really flown by. We did not go to Price until yesterday and came home today since it’s a holiday. Vittoria called it “Martin Luper King Day” (she could not quite get the “th” sound yet without her front teeth). On Saturday, it was also her best friend Brittney’s birthday and so Jacomo and I spent a few hours with her and her family, eating cake and ice cream and visiting. It’s not the same without Vittoria: I always expect her to come running around a corner and begging me to stay longer “ Per favore, mamma, altri cinque minuti…..ti pregoooo!” ( Please, mom, five more minutes, pleeeaasee!) or hear her giggling at something that Brittney said. We miss her so much, but we know she would have not missed this special event for anything in the world and we would have not missed it either. Yesterday (Sunday) we headed down to Price to be with the family. We made it for Church and then had a very nice yummy dinner and dessert with James’ parents and some of his siblings. After dinner, we headed down to Cleveland where my Host Family (the family I lived with for a year when I was an exchange student) lives. We had a good time visiting, playing cards and just watching Jacomo interact with their little dog first, and then with a baby goat. But our boy’s interest are just horses, in any form and shape, color and texture, he goes completely nuts.
This morning, we woke up to some fresh new snow and more coming down. It was absolutely beautiful and very serene. We got ready to leave: a stop at the cemetery and then back home. Grandma Bonnie and Aunt Joy with little cousin Jocelyn came with us to bring some flowers to Vittoria.


Like almost every day since her passing, I find myself thinking that this DID NOT really happen, that I’ll wake up from this long nightmare and she’ll be there, in her bed sleeping or on the couch playing Nintendo or singing at the top of her lungs, anything but this. This overwhelming grief cannot be real and I cannot believe that my broken heart is still beating in spite of the immense pain I’m feeling. We miss her so much and we want to hold her and tell her how much we love her a million times more, but I think she already knows all this. I’m thankful for what we have, for our Faith, our families and friends and the knowledge that we will be Together Forever. TI vogliamo bene, Vittoria!!