Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Vittoria's Music

So, finally there is some music that goes with the blog (Thank you, Tori). It's Vittoria's music, since all the songs on the playlist are hers. Some may be wondering about the very many different kinds of music on it...well, Vittoria likes pretty much everything, and I think behind every song there is a story or a meaning. So here we go: It starts with her favorite "Love Story" by Taylor Swift, the one that opens the flood gates whenever we hear it, and it will be always dear to us. It was the only song that Vittoria's eyes would open up to when she was in Intensive Care. Then of course we have "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack, which it was played in the car about every day when it came out, and at home and on her MP3. We watched the movie until she knew every line and learned to draw Christine in her fancy dresses. Then we go on to "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus, a song she loved to sing with her cousins Taylor and Natalia at the top of their lungs, usually at the cabin. "My Little Girl" by Tim McGraw, "The Prayer" by Andrea Bocelli and "To Where You Are" by Josh Groban were actually played at her viewing and they can be found on her dvd. The 2 "Twilight" songs are some of Vittoria's favorites: "Bella's Lullaby" because was relaxing and romantic and she was starting to like romance, and "Super Massive Black Hole" because ever single time that she played it, her little brother Jacomo would start crying like there was no tomorrow and Vittoria laughed her head off and kept on going. The "Harry Potter" music was played every weekend when Vittoria and her Dad would have the " Harry Potter" marathon. "You Raise Me Up" by Josh Groban was learned at school, and she loved it. "What I've Done" by Linkin Park was the final song to the movie "Transformers" which was one that Vittoria and I would watch just about every other day. "New Divide" by Linkin Park was a relatevely a new song: Vittoria heard it and loved it. So we got it and it was played in the car every day, even on the morning of the heart surgery on July 21, 2009. "Wizards in Winter" by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra was given by Aunt Tori and Vittoria loved it, since to her it was very Harry Potterish. "Broken" by Lindsey Haun is an awesome song that Vittoria learned by watching the movie "Broken Bridges" and if you want to have a good cry, this would be a good one. Tori made me listen to "Footprints in the Sand" by Leona Lewis. There was no need to tell you that it had to be on this blog: the back cover of Vittoria's Funeral program has the "Footprints" poem on it and to me it's just the perfect song. "Fly" by Celine Dion was written for Celine's niece who passed away at a young age....and it felt like it was for Vittoria too. "He's a Pirate" from the "Pirates of the Carabbinean" movie would get Vittoria dancing and jumping around the room. Vittoria went through a Riverdance phase: from morning until evening "Warriors" was the most played and danced to.
There is also a song from the movie "Enchanted": Vittoria loved the movie and dancing to the different songs, same story for "Spirit" Soundtrack.
For all those who know our family, we are major NCIS fans: every Tuesday night for the past 6 years we have watched religiously every episode, so Vittoria kinda got brainwashed, mostly by her mom, and when she was old enough to stand, she has danced with me to the opening song and done that until the night before her surgery. It was a ritual for us, no matter if we were at the table, ready to eat, or outside, we would stop what we were doing and started dancing like crazy (just ask James). I think it was this show that got Vittoria wanting to be a doctor.I hear it now and it hurts, I miss dancing with my little girl. We already have little Jacomo dancing to it needs a lot of work! There is one song that is not on the playlist and needs to be: it's "Arms of Love" by our dear friend James Marsden. Many don't know that right after Vittoria passed away the evening of August 16, 2009, our friend went home and wrote it in one night. He was definately inspired and what a great tribute to our Vittoria when he sang it at her funeral. The beautiful song is available through her blog.
And finally last song: It's "God Be With You Till We Meet Again" by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. It was sung at the end of the Funeral Service for our little girl and I think it's one the most beautiful Church songs ever written.
As more songs that Vittoria liked will come to mind, I'll add them to the playlist.
The next posts will have some of Vittoria's drawings. She is a very talented girl and I thought it would fun to show some of her pictures.

Friday, October 16, 2009

- 2 Months-

These pictures were taken today at the Price City Cemetery where Vittoria was laid to rest. We brought some pretty flowers and purple bows. While Jacomo played with the purple unicorn that cousin Tianna gave to Vittoria, we rearranged the flowers in the vases and shed some tears. Thank you Mama Bonnie, sisters Tori, Mary and Jana and Donata for being there.
When I got to her grave, I found a little vase with purple and pink and white little buttons and flowers made out of them and among them, I found the poem on the top picture. Thank you Joy!

(Mom’s turn)
I have been thinking about this post for quite a while now. Another month has gone by. Since Vittoria’s passing, we’ve had several FIRSTS: first time the table was set again for 2, first trip to the cabin, first McDonald, first Panda Express, first 4 wheeler ride, all without our girl. And if I start thinking ahead, I see Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas coming. And I don’t even want to think about it. It will be Jacomo’s first Halloween and it breaks our hearts to know that she will not be here to share it with him: she was already making plans to be Scarlett O’Hara this year. She already had the large pretty hat with the red ribbon, we just needed the dress.
Every day it’s a struggle, we do try to keep busy, but our hearts and minds are often somewhere else. No parent should go through this: no situation is the same and no one knows what another person goes through, the experiences can’t be compared, but the broken heart after losing a child, no matter how old, is similar. Time does not heal all wounds: this kind of wound I don’t think can ever be healed…with time, and I mean a lot of time, it can get less raw and less painful, but it will always be there. Our pain is still very much there, still very fresh and alive, we miss our girl so much. I find myself smelling her bottle of shampoo just to remember the smell of her hair, or stopping at looking at girls’ clothes debating if it is something that Vittoria would have liked. Her radio is always on, just like she always had it, and the nightlights are still on in her room and in the hallway and her bathroom: she was afraid of the dark and all those lights comforted her.
Jacomo is starting to call Vittoria: he crawls up really fast to her pictures, stretches his little arms to her and says “IA IA” ( YA YA), with a big grin on his chubby face. And as I look on, I just want to bawl.
Our Jacomo is a very happy active little boy; he makes us laugh and keeps us on our toes. Sometimes it’s hard to keep up with him: if he could, he would play and eat 24/7, naps are highly overrated for him, and he is starting to play with trucks and horses…he LOVES Grandpa’s horses, since he can’t neighing to them, he growls at them. He adores water: getting him out of the tub is always a fight, just like with his sister. She could stay and play until the skin of her fingers would fall off. I see a lot of similarities between the two of them, mostly with their stubbornness ( I have no idea where they get that from), and with their likes and dislikes. Our Vittoria taught us and is still teaching us so many things, but above all how to be parents.
Cousin Mindy sent me the video of “Fly” by Celine Dion, and I wanted to post it, but since technology does not like me, for now I thought I would post the lyrics. Needless to say, that after I heard the song, I was a mess for the whole day.

Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wind of heaven's love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again

Fly, fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this mem'ry bittersweet
Until we meet

Fly, fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don't wait for me
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won't forget

Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light